Digital Pinay, according to my sister
My sister wrote this for me last night after talking about the farce called the search for the Digital Pinay.
title: Digital-Pinay: In for a penny, in for a pound.
Warnings for strange humor ahead: What Digital Pinay is according to me
Warning no 2: Bill Gates bashing ahead. My sister is such a Linux fangirl. ^^;
Disclaimer: the coffee did it! I swear, I'm innocent! And it sounded so much better while we were talking about it. ^^; Neechan was getting really incensed over the whole Digital Pinay controversy, and I needed to lighten her up.
1. The Digital Pinay pageant is an avenue for people to find out who comes up with these horrible ideas for promoting the ITC industry and get rid of them as quickly as possible.
Cue in sportswear music:
Announcer: And now we have contestant #6 dressed to kill a la Lara Croft.
Contestant #6 poses, smiles, and waves to the host.
Contestant #6: May I make a short speech? *coughs* I am really dressed to kill right now; TO KILL THOSE WHO CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA! *draws guns and shoots organizers* I thank you. *waves and exits*
Of course, the nice thing about such a contest is you came up with
brilliantly mad innovative ways on how a beauty pageant for the ICT industry must and should be conducted.
Announcer: And our parade of contestants, who are all arrayed in their best. Contestant #1 is dressed as a CRT monitor!
Contestant #1: Good evening, I am Barbie Monita, 26 years old, and I believe that without the monitor, you can't see what you are doing, I thank you.
Contestant #2: Mabuhey! Ako si Mayumi Mandirigma, at ako ay bilang isang joystick! Uupakan ko kayo sa ngalan ng
Several other clothing ideas: a tribute to caffeine (with the Java logo on the side of the coffeecup), a mouse, a tower CPU, a hub, oh, and yes, I nearly forgot - a mainframe. O_o;
And let us not forget, the wonderful evening gown competition.
Announcer: Beauty, grace, and smarts, the true amalgation of an ICT professional. All the contestants are wearing gowns of their own inspiration made by several third-rate designers who were willing to use their insane ideas. Contestant #1 is wearing a gown that glitters like its gold: it is made up of several dozen misburned CD-Rs from CD-R King (6 pesos each) with designs created using several colors of markers. Her earrings are created from flashdrives and the concept is : with data, there is nothing.
Several other clothing ideas: emoticons, html (css in the straps and relative positioning div layer gloves!), a tribute to photoshop (with the different tools as adornment and accessories), and a tribute to Tux the Linux mascot.
And then there's always the question:
Host: Contestant #1, what do you think will be the single greatest thing to happen to the ICT community?
Contestant #1: I think it will be the day when hackers and multinational corporations can walk hand in hand and enjoy world peace. I thank you.
Host: Contestant #4, what thing concerning the ICT industry would you want to happen?
Contestant #4: One day Bill Gates will have a big presscon, and say, 'I'm sorry, Microsoft was just a big scam to make me the richest man in the world, but really, I am an OpenSource user! Go OpenSource roxxors!'
Host: Contestant #6, if you can ask Bill Gates just one question, what will it be?
Contestant #6: Are you Big Brother?
Host: How has this contest changed your life?
Contestant #9: I realized that female ITC professionals don't need no frigging beauty pageant to tell them their true worth.
Other ideas for the coronation night:
- A special parade of the contestants dressed up as important people in the development of ICT (variation 1. people who helped developed computers and programming language - Babbage! random Chinese guy who made the abacus!)
- A skit of the different OSs talking
- A skit where Tux Skywalker defeats Darth Gater while Princess Mac OS looks pretty in her jaguar-print bikini.
Categories to add for other prizes:
- Teh Haxxors L33t
- L33t roxxors photoshop manip (get a picture of Bill Gates and manip it for thirty minutes)
- Teh mad coding skillz (fastest in programming/html)
But really, aren't there more fun and (slightly) viable ideas on how to promote the female ICT professional?
- Best in a hacking simulation : to prove that girls can be good at it too!
- the ICT jeopardy : with categories like 'Linux distros' and 'name the virus attack', 'name that cause of the Blue Screen of Doom'